Friday, August 29, 2008

Ahoy! Enemy Within

It was in the news that one-sixth of the world’s population of those living below the poverty line are in India.  Is this an achievement?  One-sixth of the world’s population is in India’s State of Uttar Pradesh.  Everybody knows that the only popular industry in the State of Uttar Pradesh is baby production. Baby production due to uncondomed sex as most do not earn more than a square meal or less to even think of purchasing packets of condoms.  Thank the Lord not for the daily bread but libidos.  Now exactly how many are below the poverty line in the State of Uttar Pradesh?  90%? 80%? Please ask the U.N. or is it the statisticians in GOI (government of India) not to give us algebraic variables.  Readers want the facts in plain Queen’s English.

Why should the politicians in the government of India care?  First, they are busy keeping their coalition partners happy by turning a blind eye to their doings.  Then, they are busy with money laundering to survive votes of confidence in the Lok Sabha.  Finally, it is time for re-elections, and the governments at the center and States, especially those run by opposition parties, are busy trying to outdo one another by pushing through populist vote catching government orders for a section of the people.

Should anybody in authority care for an inflation of 14% that is still rising?  Mind you, not at consumer price-index (that would be very embarrassing even for the statisticians in the Ministry of Planning) but at wholesale price-index.  Prices of essential commodities are steadily going beyond the reach of the common household.  In order to control inflation while the Reserve Bank of India is attempting to reduce money supply in the market by tightening bank credit, friends across the borders are running a mint in printing Indian currency and offering at low “profits” to the desperate Indian households.  Our mentioned friends across the border are also able to lend authenticity to their trade by exchange of currency through their friends in banks in India.  They have a lot of friends in the State Bank of India, which is the largest public sector (read government-owned) bank in India.  So what?  The government of India has with one stroke sorted out this matter by making a person liable for persecution for holding such currency even if it has come out of the ATM of their nationalized banks!  There …. A big opportunity for Chinese enterprisers to manufacture low-priced (do not ever attempt to repair) currency notes x-ray scanners for the common man.  Ever-ready to keep the Chinese happy (and forgetful of their favorite pastime of border intrusions), GOI will gladly import the same and subsidize them too.

For a long time I have not read the Unemployment and Underemployment News.  I am quite sure that here too the State of Uttar Pradesh must be winning hands down with the greatest population of Muslims whose only aim is to reduce the Hindus to minority by their baby boom policy via their legalized bigamy.  Sorry Hindus.  The law of India does not allow you to venture in that area.

The GOI is trying to upstage the opposition ruled States by waiving off the bank loans of the farmers.  Wow!  What a lottery for the farmers.  There are plenty of well off farmers who are trying to capitalize on this free-for-all Farmers’ National Lottery.  The amount involved is to the tune of about Rs. 75,000 crores (US$ 20 million).  Nothing stops the farmers to have their debts written off and then re-apply for another until next waiver.

Dr. Manmohan Singh, the Prime Minister of India, a former head of the Ministry of Planning, and an economist, etc. etc. is no politician.  But he too wants to be remembered after he moves out of the limelight.  Having survived the vote of confidence created by the Marxists pulling the plug of support to his party’s coalition, he is pushing his Nuclear energy dream riding in USA “Bushyback” attempting to cross the last hurdle of the Nuclear Suppliers’ Group.

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